why would my husband want to do a threesom?
Added to Sex on February 4, 2010 | 
25 Comments
A question from a reader: i’ve been married for 14 years and my husband want to have a threesome,and I’m scared that it is really a excuse to cheat.my out look is if you love someone then you are not willing to share them.but to make him happy i’m considering do it but i’m scared that it will not be enough.
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hmm to be honest i would be worried as well. hes pushing the boundaries, depends how far he takes it…
say fine but you want to do it with another man
Everyman wants a 3 some, besides the greedy bastards that want a 4some.
Wants to spice up the sex life. If you aren’t into it then don’t do it.
i say dont, if you do then you’ll feel left out if he gives the other girl more attention. i’ve been married for almost a yr, and i couldn’t imagine my husband with another girl.
Depends the gender it’s with, too.
That is a very personal choice that you and your husband must decide together. Personally, I would not do it. However, live and let live if you like it I love it. However, I would suggest that the two of you have a very honest and open discussion regarding this before hand. And then only if you are comfortable should you proceed. Do not be pressured into doing something that you do not wish to do.
If you do it once he will expect it again. I wouldn’t necessarily think that he wants to cheat on you, it’s just every mans fantasy. Personally I think that it will ruin your relationship but ultimately its your decision to make.
i think threesomes are cool.. and keeps the fire going.. but thats just me… i would like a threesome we just havent found a good candidate to do it with
Holy Cow don’t do it. Don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it. I’m so scared for you! There’s got to be another way. Is your normal sexlife a little humdrum? Are you guys nice to one another otherwise? If spicing up your private bedroom life and going out of your way to show appreciation to him can help, maybe give it a shot?
Your husband may want excitement and a new form of arousal.
Maybe he wants to have sex with someone else but wouldn’t feel as bad if you were there as well.
dont give in. its every guys fantasy. straight up ask him why he wants one
It will probably destroy your marriage if you are doing it for him.
Yes I think your last remark will turn out to be true. He’s breaking the bond you two had together and where will it end?
I wonder, did this suddenly come up? Did he ever care to explain where this came from? (Honey, when I woke up this morning I thought Yay! lets have a 3-some?). It doesn’t even matter if he wants the 3rd person to be male or female, I think there is something behind this he is not revealing to you, or you are keeping it behind.
I would stick to your own feelings about this. Giving in is certainly no guarantee for a saved marriage.
It wont go well if you dont enjoy it.
If you decide to go through with it, you must put yourself in a frame of mind to enjoy it.
BTW, does it go both ways here? If he wants MFF, will he allow MMF? THATS probably the first thing to ask him.
I recently got back in touch with a childhood friend (female friend) that had been married 22 years and was going through the exact same thing. The problem was, in her case, she decided to be “open mined” and give in to His request. She spent weeks relaying the agony she felt over what she had done and how she couldn’t forgive herself for being a part of it and even more the anger she felt at him for pushing her so hard for it. About a month ago he moved out of the house. They lost all respect for one another. If you ask me, I say, I don’t care how much he begs, DON’T DO IT! You will regret it. It makes no sense for two people that love one another and are committed to lifelong intimacy to invite another person into the sheets with them.
yeah, i think marriage is between two people. But even if you guys dont go through with the threesome, I would work on why he’s thinking that. Go get some marriage counselling or something. I know it might sound kind of lame, but you gotta do whatever you got to help him out. This wont fix itself until its dealt with in his mind first.
This question gets asked a lot on here. I suppose the reason a lot of married men ask it, is b/c for one, they separate sex and love. They love you and nothing will change that, but sexually they would like to get some “strange too”. So if you have a threesome, they won’t have to cheat(not that they would) because you could enjoy too. The problem is that most women do not separate love and sex…they are intertwined for us. We become hurt by this request, that somehow, we are not good enough, it really hurts us. Tell him, that you are not comfortable with the idea, it scares you, would make you jealous etc. Bottom line it would ruin your marriage in your eyes. Then ask him what the 2 of you could do to spice up your sexual relations, without involving others. My suggestion is to buy a few different wigs, and some sexy costumes….role play….watch some porn together for ideas on positions etc….don’t worry your not alone, most wives hear this request from their husbands….and most feel the same way you do.
Sorry, but he doesn’t truly love you. He needs the agape love that only Jesus Christ can provide. His love for you is conditional.
Marriage is between ONE MAN & ONE WOMAN.
Rent the movie Fireproof and watch it with him TONIGHT if you truly love him and don’t want to commit adultery.
Don’t worry about what he wants…these are his fantasy. But if it make you feel uncomfortably don’t do it no matter what because if you are not OK with it, it will only make things worse. There is a line people today are finding it hard to deal with that is the line between fantasy and reality. Partially because our society has become so open, partially because our society takes stories and believes them as reality or what to live them out either way it is misshaping the social environment. threesomes are definitely a popular fantasy all the attention one would get, the constant change, I don’t know but it isn’t typical reality. Just be honest with him about how you feel and let that guide you.
First ask him what is his purpose in doing that. I do know that some men has this fantasy. But, ask him if he want to do it with another man instead of another woman. If he doesn’t agree so as you. tell him how you feel about it, because if you don’t want it he cannot force you. God Bless
Don’t do it; offer to spice things up in your sex-life together.
Ask him to search around the web about real experiences for the typical couple; it rarely ends well. Google ‘bi unicorn’ for an idea of what you are getting into.
The unicorn doesn’t want to be used for sex any more than you do.
The safest thing to do (emotionally) is rent one (hire a prostitute).
Even that will turn out horribly if you are not both totally into it.
And it’s not something you to to ‘fix’ your sex life. It will end your relationship in that case.
I know a unicorn and after years of looking for the ‘perfect couple’ she gave up. Most of them ended badly, only one couple even remained together.
dont see just his happiness ,see urs also . DO U WANT TO DO IT , IF IT TOOK PLACE ONCE ,IT WILL BE CARRIED FOR MANY TIMES . ITS ALL UR CHOICE NOW .
Your right, your husband wants to cheat. How kind of him to let you be involved with his infidelity. He has some serious issues.
“It makes no sense for two people that love one another and are committed to lifelong intimacy to invite another person into the sheets with them.”
i second that!